Applying Confidence

In my previous  blog one of my readers commented that the advice given was sound, and we all should apply not rushing things when it comes to dating, however she also said it was easier said than done.
This inspired me to explore the topic of confidence, how to gain it, apply it, and how to keep it.

Confidence the New Sexy

As women we are guilty of looking at what we regard to be a not so attractive woman and think "How did she get him". I have seen men love on women who society deems as average or less than. The reasons men flock to her is because she knows her worth. Yes, we have some that take advantage of women, but those are the ones who lack assurance and we are speaking of Confident Women. Men are drawn to women who believe in their beauty and their value, women who walk into a room and own it..


Here's Why They Love Them

No man wants a woman who doesn't believe she is beautiful. If she doesn't believe it, how will she believe his compliments. Let's face it, a confident woman is not only comfortable with herself at all cost,she is also comfortable in her skin..
Ladies, men do not care about stretch marks, jiggly thighs are even a little gut. If he is with you, trust me he has undressed with his eyes and he is very aware of what you consider to be your imperfections, to him, It's his playground.

My ex (whom shall remain nameless) always wanted me to be half naked or naked around him because he loved my body. This was uncomfortable to me at first because my body wasn't what I deemed as perfect.. My thighs kissed more than I did, and my skin had stretch marks from pregnancy and weight gain. I began to feel silly covering up what he loved to see.
The moment I let go of my insecurities made for greater intimacy, but it also made me feel sexy, beautiful, and confident.

How to get it

First thing first, we must view ourselves as queens. Not to be religious,  but we have to know that God created us In His Image,and he makes no mistakes. If there is anything that you dislike about your body or shape change it. Work out, eat healthy, meditate and pray. You will be surprised how physical exercise and meditation changes your view. Each day look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of how great you are. Be anxious for nothing,and no one. Relationships are like buying a car and or  home. When a salesman tries to rush you into a purchase, chances are it's a lemon or a bad deal. So if you don't make haste decision with your purchases, why would you with love?



On the episode of Mary Jane, she posted notes of positivity on her mirror. This can work, however you must put it into practice. Ridding yourself of self esteem issues requires daily affirmations from yourself of just how amazing you are. Once you put it into a routine, just like the perfect melody, you will feel it, but most importantly you will trust it.  We posses so much power it's just a matter of us unlocking and releasing our inner Diva.

Let It Go

Let go of what the last clown did to you. Holding on to heartache only makes you look bitter and it makes you miserable. Every man isn't bad,you just chose to occupy your time with the wrong one. Let it go already! Why you are still trying to figure out what happened, he is hugged up with the next one. So why waste energy on something that wasn't meant to be.

Seeing in Believing (Applying It)

After you have your new found confidence go out and test it. Go out and smile,be a presence in the room and watch you attract a worthy suitor. You see the bumbs, and scumbs tend to go after the girl who fidgets with her hands, makes no eye contact and who accepts all compliments.
You see all attention isn't good attention. This is how we weed out the ones who aren't worthy of a hello let alone our time.

It Takes Time

Don't be alarmed if after reading this you don't wake up feeling like America's Next Top Model Lol. Like any bad habit, it takes time and patience to rid yourself of it. Emotional abuse that is self inflicted  by far is a challenge, because it is how you feel about yourself. Detoxing is needed for the mind, as well as the body.

Until you reach complete confidence in yourself and your value do not date. I repeat DO NOT DATE! You'd be setting yourself up for failure. Take this time to love on you, figure out what you want for yourself and proceed after it. Don't be afraid to be alone,it is important to make yourself into what you desire. If you want a confident,handsome,spiritual,and fiscally responsible man, you must be the same thing. I promise he will not want the incomplete version of you. Remember the right man is out there waiting to make your acquaintance, so build you,and enjoy the journey that leads to finding self happiness,self love and the rest will follow.